Chronicles of a Selfish Mommy

Archive for December 2010

Today was better, I am already making good on my “resolutions’.  Look at us having a good time outside…..Can you believe this Texas weather?!  70+ degrees!  We even played Operation & Sorry this morning.  Baby steps, right?

Rocking B


Today was hard for me as a parent.  I really feel like a crappy parent.  All the yelling from parent & child, the stand-offs, the talking back.

I can only be pushed so far and then I throw a hissy fit.  Major Mommy Meltdown.  Like “NO WIRE HANGERS!” bat shit crazy mad (without the hitting).  I seriously hate myself right now.  I am so screwing up my willful, obstinate, non-direction taking, back talker……URGGHHHHH!  I know I learned this from my own Mother & I don’t want to do it to my own.  Now don’t get me wrong, my Mom is still pretty awesome, but meltdowns she had & still has.  I was so bad, I even got a spanking (and not in the fun way)….

In light of this, I am going to make some major parental adjustments.  I am hoping more encouragement, personal 1×1 time, playing time, etc will help fix some of these things.  Although, I secretly feel like these are the reasons we have the child we now have.  He cannot play by himself, not even for 1 minute – the kid is 5!  He lies, blatantly.  He demands, demands, demands…..but, I know I am not the best at giving of my time which is all he really wants.  I know I can make more time to just be, instead of always trying to squeeze in errands or things to do while playing with him.  I have low patience as well….

Tonight I will brine in my guilt.  I will make some hard & fast resolutions, yes resolutions to put down the work, to play the games he wants, read more, just be.

I have to realize that parenting is a learning experience, one typically only learned through trial and error.  Right now, I am learning from my actions & I vow to become a better Mom from this.

To my first-born, Mommy loves you with every ounce of my being. 

In my standing not to make New Year resolutions.  I make too many lists and have too many things to concentrate on that this yearly occurrence scores low on my “to accomplish list”.  It’s just too stressful.

I would say; however, that I do love the idea of a fresh start.  A chance to begin anew with a clean slate,  a second chance.  I like all the hope & dreams put into all the list making and mental notes.

In typical Selfish Mommy form most of my resolutions would inevitably be about & for me with a little kid stuff mixed in for good measure.  I would want to make myself better physically, emotionally, mentally, parentally (is that a word?), but I think these are ideas we as human beings strive for in general – right?  They are so obscure as to what they mean to each person that it is hard to tell if you actually succeed or not.

I liked what My Crazy Life posted about the Happiness Project she plans to follow & the “rules” for making successful resolutions, but I’m still not biting.  Just too many steps, 13 to be exact & isn’t 13 a superstitious number?  I digress…..

What I will do in the place of resolutions is update my list of 101 things.  I will update my bucket list.  Yes, it will take me longer to achieve some of these things.  It might take me the entire 3 yrs, it might not…. who knows!  What I do know is that I will have a guideline to follow and strive for instead of some hard & fast resolutions & pressures to achieve by year’s end.  Habits take a long time to form, I am OK with that.

Here’s my family, looking into 2011 all wistful like…planning our New Year’s Resolutions?  Prolly not….

photo courtesy of Fito Laurel

You tell me, weird or cute?  Bride of Chucky or Susie Sunshine?

What weird or slightly off/creepy gifts did ya’ll give &/or receive this holiday season?

I wish I had vacation.  Like actual true vacation where I can do what I want, when I want.  But, alas, I have 2 full-time jobs vying for my attention – 2 young children & working for “the man”.  I am currently “on vacation”, yet instead of feeling relaxed, I am slowly being driven insane.

I don’t get to sleep in,  I don’t get to eat when I want or what I want, I don’t get to just sit around and watch my shows or browse the net, I don’t get to do what I want or need to do (which BTW is a LONG list)….instead it’s all: check email, work a bit, stop someone from yelling or pushing or hitting, stop asking the same question over and over again (this one is for the kids AND work), please play by yourself, please stop grabbing snacks and drinks ALL DAY LONG…. and it goes on and on and on AND then starts again the next day.

It’s a never-ending cycle & it’s not fun.  Yes, I DO LOVE my children.  I do, I do, I do…..

Just PLEASE for the all that is holy – GIVE ME A BREAK!

And as I am about to post this, I get this….it’s like they enjoy mocking me

Mom's a liar, we're sweet angels

We spent the majority of our day in the truck as a family spending “quality time” which consisted of three games (usually in rapid fire succession)

1. Playing “Are we there yet?”

2. Playing “When are we going to be there?”

3. Playing “How much longer?”

The winner of each game/round is determined by who can whine & complain the most after each question is answered.  Sometimes it was me, but mostly it was one of the kiddos…can you tell which one?

Winner of the game!

Winner of the game!

and all through the house not a creature, scratch that, the only creatures stirring were the crazy parents wrapping gifts & putting together toys. I don’t know why we do it, but we do.  Every parent does, right?  Please tell me yes!  please…..We put it off till the night before, mostly because there is no place to hide some of their bigger presents, but also because we almost always underestimate what we have planned to give. 

Santa's Elf, Selfish Daddy

Selfish Daddy & I were up past midnight doing last-minute wrapping (all him, hey, I bought everything…) & then assembling (also him, I simply fetch tools & materials) the dreaded kitchen set.  It took us (him) well over 2 hours to almost finish.  Yes, I said almost.  We found out at the end that 2 doors couldn’t go on because we had some shelves on backwards!  Curse you instructions without actual words!  We decided to tell them that Santa left us a note that we had to finish it for him later today.  The things we do for our kids, sheesh!

It's not rocket science, right? Thank goodness for an engineering degree!

Our lovely son was SO EXCITED that he awoke BEFORE the crack of dawn!   That’s right, it was literally pitch black (10 till 6am) outside when his wide-eyed and brushy tailed self ran into our room beyond ecstatic.  Selfish Daddy desperately asked for him to come back when it was light out, but there was no going back.  We begrudgingly pulled ourselves out of bed & I went to grab the littlest one & she plainly said NOOOOOO….. I know how she felt….

In the end, it was all totally worth it!  The big hit for both kiddos was the kitchen!

Hours of torture for endless kid fun, we hope

We hope everyone had a lovely day spent with those you cherish most!

101 in 1001 – Ongoing

6. Workout 3x per week
7. Keep weight below 130lbs
8. Use Teeth Whitening Trays
10. Volunteer 1x per quarter (3/11)
11. Prepare 1 new recipe a month (15/33)
18. Professional Family Photo once per yr (2/3)
19. Date night every other month (12/18)
32. Keep my sites updated (Facebook, Wordpress, and personal)
33. Family Vacations once per yr (1/3)
34. Monthly Pedicures and Manicures
37. Donate Blood once per quarter (3/11)
38. Spring and Fall Cleanings (3/6)
39. Donate items from those cleanings to Goodwill (3/6)
40. Use all my gift cards
43. Use cloth bags for shopping every chance I get
44. Read one book every other month (31/20)
46. Decorate Home for the Holidays/Seasons
51. Clean out fridge twice a year (3/6)
52. Clean out pantry twice a year (3/6)
53. Take photos at important events
54. Learn and keep tabs on personal and home finances
55. Monthly work performance plan updates (5/33)
56. Update resume yearly or with every job change (2/3)
64. Say a one positive thing for every one negative
92. Give Jeff and kids kisses EVERY day
94. Adhere to my anti-aging cream ritual
99. Wear something OTHER than jeans once a week (144/143)

No Longer Interested:
2. Attend said Church 2x per month (2/66)
47. Event Planner courses or readings
83. Spend at least once a every OTHER week on boat during warm weather (May-Sept)

101 in 1001 – One Time Event

High Motivation:
12. Landscape Front Yard
13. Landscape Back Yard
16. Remove Spider Veins
17. Update Driver’s License restrictions
26. PGMP Certification
30. Green Belt Certification
31. Repair Acura Leather
35. Participate in an Adventure Race
36. Start kids' College Fund
41. Update my phone and address excel spreadsheet
45. Appraise and insure Rings and earrings
48. Clean out jewelry box
61. Travel outside the US
62. Update MP3 player songs
66. Buy a safe
68. Sift thru mementos to either keep, sale, or donate
71. Try Snowboarding
77. Write will
81. Own a Louis Vuitton Purse
86. Actually catch some air wakeboarding
87. Bunny Hop Switch on wakeboard
88. Give Microdermabrasion a try
90. Beat 5k PR - 28:15 Completed: 7/03/10 28:09
91. Beat 5 Miler PR - 47:13
95. Get back to VEGAS!
98. Come up w/new Morning Shift Plan

Low Motivation:
9. Start Side Business (House Flipping, Event Planner, Book, Vending, Duplex/Apt)
15. Take a Spanish Language Course
27. Resize and Wear Aggie Ring
28. Attend an Aggie Bonfire
29. Attend an Austin Midnight Yell Practice
65. Organize my body & mind by buying & using a treadmill
72. Be an extra in a movie or TV show
80. Wii & Wii Fit
84. Play in Poker tourney that doesn’t include friends nor family
85. Poker moratorium for 3 mths
96. Get someone else to start a list
101. Visit Holly’s place when baby comes

101 in 1001 – Completed

1. Register for a Church Completed: 6/06/08
3. Laser hair removal Completed: 2/24/10
4. Baby #2 Completed: 2/09/09
5. Run a 10k Completed: 4/26/08
14. Take a Creative Arts Class (writing, painting, photography) Completed: 2/12/10 at Painting with a Twist
20. Register Connor for a sport when he’s able Completed: 8/12/09
21. Promotion or Job Change to do so Completed: 5/14/10
23. Find and hire a housekeeper completed: 2/8/08
24. Potty & Bed train Connor
25. Wean Connor from pacifier complete 6/1/09
42. Buy and use a PDA Completed: 6/16/08
49. Crown Molding in dining, living, and master bedroom Completed: 4/2010
50. Built in shoe storage in master closet Completed: Dec 09 as Jeff built them for me!
57. Visit a historical site Completed: 9/5/08
58. Visit a museum Completed: 9/6/08
59. Visit a zoo completed:12/24/07
60. Ride a train Completed: 10/11/09 Riding Thomas the Train & 12/20/09 riding the North Pole Flyer
63. New MP3 headphones Complete: July 09
67. Obtain concealed handgun license completed: 1/27/08
69. New pots and pans completed: 2/28/08
70. Frame Family photo completed: 11/08
73. Pay off one of our vehicles Completed: January '09
74. See a Play Completed: Disney Live 12/19/08, Dora Live 7/22/09, Wicked 8/25/09
75. Vote in the next presidential and local elections completed 10/08
76. Become CPR and First Aid Certified Completed: 4/12/08
78. Ride the Zilker Zephyr Completed: 5/28/08
79. Go on a cruise Completed: 9/14 thru 9/19
89. Get a Facial Completed: 6/4/10
93. Have 2nd Baby’s room finished BEFORE she is born Completed: 2/3/09
97. Get a massage Completed: 6/4/10
100. Visit my brother’s new condo Completed: 3/22/08

Supplemental List

102. Watch 1 Netflix Movie a week (53/143)
103. a canopy tour Completed: 11/14/09 for Amanda's 30th
104. Join the Capital City A&M Club Completed: 4/13/08
105. Attend 2 A&M Club events a year (0/6)
106. Have Jeff hang curtains
107. New bedding for Master Bedroom completed: 1/11/09
108. Kitchen Organization System
109. Be a mentor to someone
110. Do a family year end blog every yr end (1/3)
111. APICS Classes
112. Migrate Connor to new room Completed: 8/21/08
113. Update Workout to a Guest room Completed: 1/14/09
114. Office Furniture: desks, chairs, bookcases Complete: 8/09
115. Visit a Chiropractor
116. Get Moles checked out Completed: 4/29/08
117. ITIL Certification
118. Attend a circus, rodeo, or fair Completed: 8/24/08 circus
119. Create photo books once a year for great-grandparents and grandparents (2/3)
120. Update and organize personal cookbook
121. Fall &/or Holiday Festivals (0/2)
122. Renaissance Faire

The Bucket List

Things I want to do before I die
1. Ride the tallest Roller Coaster, Kingda Ka, in Jackson, NJ at Six Flags Great Adventure
2. Visit Redwood National Park to view the oldest and tallest trees in the world
3. Camp Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming to see the tallest geyser eruptions
4. Florida Everglades
5. Smithsonsian Museum in Washington, DC
6. Grand Canyon
7. Pyramids of Giza - Egypt
8. Paris, France and all it's relevant sites
9. Great Wall of China
10. Taj Mahal, India
11. Petra, Jordan
12. Greece & Italy and all their relevant sites
13. Chicchen Itza, Mexico Completed: 9/16/09
14. Statue of Liberty, Hoover Dam, Mount Rushmore, Niegra Falls, Empire State Bldg
15. Britain/England and all it's relevant sites

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