Chronicles of a Selfish Mommy

Archive for June 2009

That’s how long Jeff and I have been married today.  8 years together, 6 years married.  In the grand scheme of things, that’s nada.  Yet we’ve covered so much ground in this time.  We’ve had 3 homes, 3 job changes for Jeff and 2 for me, 2 kids, a giant salt water fish tank, a fiery kitty, a brief stint w/a puppy, 2 boats, and several trips. 

Where has the time gone?  It seems to have completely slipped by us.  I was 25 when I got married!  Honestly?  I wouldn’t change a damn thing.  I love this man and the wonderful life he has given me!  I am looking forward to spending my life sentence and journey with him!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to US! 

PS – Year 10 will be vow renewal!  Boy is he gonna HATE that!

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Brooke has been in our lives for 4 months!  The chunky monkey is already 20 weeks old, although if you are going by months she doesn’t turn 5 months until July 9th.

We had our 4 month check this past Friday, June 19th.  And no shocker here, the chunkster is weighing in at a whopping 15 lbs 12 oz putting her in the 90th percentile!  Geez!  She also stretched out quite a bit making it to a full 24 1/2 inches.  She is ever so slightly above average, coming in at 53rd percentile.  The Doc gave us the OK and practically made us start Brooke on solids.  She is now eating some rice cereal with her dinner.  Luckily, she is not having any problems eating it other than we cannot shovel it in fast enough.

Brooke has a pretty good schedule.  She wakes btw 5:30 & 6am all bright-eyed and bushy tailed.  Promptly at 9:30am she becomes a crying mess and falls asleep for about an hour sometimes an hour and a half.  Her next nap usually begins about 2:30ish and she typically is down for about 2 hours.  Both her naps are taken in her crib.   By 7pm (normally earlier) she has had her dinner and is out for the count (placed in her crib) until about 2am when she screams (not cries) to be fed.  Fortunately, she falls right back to sleep (cuddled btw Mommy & Daddy) until actual morning.  We are desperately awaiting the “sleeping thru the night” phase.

Brooke is a totally cool, funny little thing.  She LOVES, LOVES, LOVES to laugh – L O U D L Y.  It’s so infectious.  She loves standing up and sitting upright.  She has rolled a handful of times from tummy to back, although I don’t think she is doing it exactly on purpose.  She recognizes her name and immediately turns when called.  But then again, anytime she hears my voice she looks for me and stares at me all sad faced just kinda giving me the look, “Why are YOU not holding me?”  I secretly like that she is such a Mommy’s girl!

ah, this 101 list.  Some might think, what have you been doing?  Seriously, you are a domestic engineer – you’d think you can get some of this stuff done.  Pfft, is what I have to say to those that think that.  I used to be that person…..no longer. 

I am getting into a better groove and, dare say, am starting to enjoy this new ride.  I have traded in my stress for frustration, but I (kinda) plan my day and am (kinda) my own boss.  OK, ok – who am I kidding?!  I am a total slave to 2 people shorter and less verbal than I!  However, not having to get dressed and not having demanding deadlines is A W E S O M E!  Plus, these 2 cannot lay me off…. well, they could mutiny and make me quit & in this short period of time they’ve come close…..

This Selfish Mommy is slowly trying NOT to go insane playing the same games over and over and over again, is learning to tune out the whining and crying (when you know it’s not serious), and almost has several Dr Seuss Books memorized.  Let’s not even get to Bob the Builder, that’s a story for another time…..

So, I digress – see?!  I already feel less selfish bc I ranted on about my kids.  I can feel the changes beginning….

Ok, the list – hit it!

#3 Laser Hair Removal – it hurts like nothing else.  Seriously, it hurts!  B A D!  I am no wimpy chick either.  I have done 3 sessions under my arms and nether regions and 2 on my legs.  YOWZA!  I repeat these mantras as the wonderful aesthetician lasers my hairs away – “sometimes beauty requires pain” and “if I can have 2 kids, I can take this”.  Yes, it really is that painful.  BUT!  I will be (hopefully) hair free by the end of the year!

#6 Workout 3x per week – this one comes and goes like the tides.  One week I am rocking it, the next week I am in a rocker.  I just cannot for the life of me get consistent.  I think I am gonna borrow my parents treadmill again and hit it up during Brooke’s nap and Connor’s rest time.  I realized that w/2 crappy feeding times for Brooke and just being done in the evenings, that I am just not motivated.  Maybe an afternoon pinch in the inside cool will help?

#7 Keep weight below 130lbs – we are now at 19 weeks post partum &  I STILL have 10 lbs to go!  STILL!  OMG, this weight just doesn’t come off like it did for Connor.  As a dear friend pointed out, it could be my age.  She’s prolly right.  Or it could be that I prefer to eat Chips Ahoy Reduced Fat Cookies and sit on my @ss at this computer.  Either way – weight is still there.  Please read above for my plan of attack.

#10 Volunteering – you know, I really miss doing this.  I need to figure out a way to get more involved again.  My first attempt is growing out my hair for Locks of Love.  Next?  IDK – ideas?

#11 Prepare 1 New Recipe a Month – GAH!  Um, I think I was OK with this one until very recently.  I know I didn’t do anything for May and thus far same is true for June….but I still have time!

#19 Date Night! – Jeff and I hit up  friend’s 40th B-Day.  We went to dinner, ok ok, it was more a sports bar and it was me with 6 guys – beggars cannot be choosers….  I also think we went to a movie.  What did we see?  Hum, Star Trek, that’s right.  Don’t ask me for dates, I just don’t remember.  I SWEAR they happened though!

#20 Register Kiddos for Sports – Connor’s in gymnastics for his 3rd go round.  I am thinking about karate or maybe soccer or T-Ball….

#21 Promotion Job Change – will hopefully bring about a “promotion” or rather just more moola!  See, I AM actively working on something…. ok, so I was forced – does it really matter the motivation?

#24 Potty & Bed Train Connor – can we just call this complete?  The boy does all his business in a potty, ok sometimes he misses (on purpose), but still.  He sleeps in his own room and now without the gate!  I am gonna call this done!

#34 Monthly Mani/Pedi – yup, I just cannot survive without someone scrubbing away what have now become gross mommy feet.  You Mommies out there know what I mean….the paints chipped to only flecks & heels so worn & rough due to all the running after little ones…. now that we’re talking about this, Selfish Mommy SO needs a mani/pedi!

#35 Adventure Race – I found one that sounds fun.  I have sent out a request for a partner, now if someone would just return the call….

#37 Donate Blood – I need to just get myself over there already!  Then I could also hit up #39

#38/39 Spring Cleaning & Goodwill – I have a bag of stuff that needs to be dropped off.  I also have a bag of Connor stuff for Renee and maternity stuff for Loo – ladies, I have some goodies for you….

#40 Giftcard Usage – well, I still have a couple left.  I used my Ulta one yesterday.  Only took like over a yr, but hey

#44 Reading – I have been really good at this.  I ain’t no book snob – sometimes we just need to be taken away…It’s all chick lit & Dan Brown.  Once done w/Dan, heading over to this whole Twilight thing…..I was addicted to LJ Smith’s Vampire Diaries when I was a wee lass, so hoping this lives up!  BTW, SO WATCHING the TV Series based on LJ Smith’s series coming in the fall!

#60 Ride Train – thinking of doing this whole Day w/Thomas thing for Connor.  My only concern is that it’s in Burnet, but it would definitely knock it off my list!

#79 Cruise – scheduled for 9/13!  One whole week w/out kiddos & loving, sunning, and drinking it up w/Selfish Daddy. 

#83 Spending time on boat – ain’t gonna happen this summer.  Brooke is banned; hence, I am too.  Next year it is so on!  We may just have a new and improved model (boat not person nor kid) by then….stay tuned!

#94 Anti-Aging Regime – I am not aging gracefully, I am so taking that mo-fo out!  Apparently, the weapon to do this is called retinol.  I shall purchase some, let the battle begin!

OK, so the rest of the stuff I didn’t mention bc I haven’t bothered with it or I just have miserably failed and it wasn’t that interesting to blog about.

I am adding Strawberry Farm to the list, though!

was not a good day.  Well, it started out ok then headed sharply downhill.  Sometimes we just don’t have our Sh!t together, do we?  Like a 3 year old throwing a ginormous tantrum.  That’s how I felt. 

I think I have hit “the wall” and I am sure I will hit it many more times to come…..it just doesn’t get easier, does it?

Vague, I know….but really, it’s not pretty when a Selfish Mommy has a breakdown, so I will spare everyone the gruesome details.

the pacifier habit!  Connor did it all on his own!  It has been done.  Monday night he just decided that he was a big boy and didn’t need it anymore.  Well, that and we also kinda sorta mentioned that a Nip-Nip (what we call a pacifier) Fairy would bring him toys in place of his nip-nips.  Boy promptly delivered the 2 he had hiding left & he made out like a bandit the next morning.

He hasn’t cried, hasn’t woken up wanting one…….but, he no longer can jump in bed and crash.  It takes him longer (about an hr) to fall asleep at night.  He has gone from getting in bed by himself to wanting to hang out with us until he passes out.  Small price and I am sure it will change, give it time.

Yea!  Another one off the ol list.  #25, you’re outta there!

yet ANOTHER blog name!

Not only will I be updating everyone on life in the Cox Lane, but also MY(see the “selfish” in this) 101 list.  This blog will be about one Mommy’s pursuit of control, sanity, & personal happiness.

It’s an age old dilemma for us Mommies.  To work or not to work (outside the home).  Some of us have to & some of us are fortunate enough to get a choice.   I am one of those fortunate ones, the one that has a choice.  For many reasons, I choose to work (outside the home).  Suffice it to say, this decision comes loaded with guilt.  Yet, I want to do it because it gives me the freedom to be me & do things for me.  This is why I call myself the “Selfish Mommy”.  I know, it really is kinda an oxymoron.  How can being a Mommy be selfish?  Isn’t the definition of Mommy the exact opposite?  Well, yes & no….

I just recently was given the time to be a stay at home parent.  Given the opportunity to see the other choice I could make, I realized today (ok, ok as soon as I started this parenting gig full time) that I am too selfish of a person to be a stay at home Mom.  Let’s get something straight – I LOVE & ADORE my kids, but I also love & adore grown-up time, downtime time, & me time.  These are things you just don’t get when you are a domestic engineer.  Plus, I really love bringing home my own moola bc – boy howdy – can Mommy spend it!  I feel terribly guilty spending money I didn’t personally make.  Yes, I know I earned it in other ways (ain’t that the truth), but there is nothing like doing it for yourself.

Now you ask, how can I be a good parent and be so selfish?  Well, I think it is of utmost importance to be happy yourself before you can give happiness and joy to someone else.  I am a WAY better, more patient, & more attentive parent when I have been challenged by a good work project or have some me time during each day.  It makes me feel good about myself in a completely different way.  It’s an energy I cannot explain.  I thrive on the go, go, go of juggling multiple hats: wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, bargain shopper, primper, runner in training….. getting, doing, and being these things through out my day makes me, truly me.  It’s important for my kids to see me!  They are a HUGE part of my life, but they are not my entire life.  I do not and cannot define myself by my kids.  I and they would suffer for it.

I don’t know if I even got these thoughts out without offending anyone or making me out to be some monster who doesn’t enjoy time with their kids.  On the contrary, when I worked outside the home every evening & weekend was devoted to them.  We always have fun family things planned, still do.  Mostly, I want my kids to know that there are always choices.  So many, many choices they get to have and to make.  It’s up to them to determine what makes them happy & go for it. 

This selfish Mommy is working to make her life what she needs and wants it to be.  The kiddos & hubby will get to reap the rewards of having a mother who is happy with herself.  Internal happiness radiates and THAT makes for a wonderful Mommy!


101 in 1001 – Ongoing

Continue:
6. Workout 3x per week
7. Keep weight below 130lbs
8. Use Teeth Whitening Trays
10. Volunteer 1x per quarter (3/11)
11. Prepare 1 new recipe a month (15/33)
18. Professional Family Photo once per yr (2/3)
19. Date night every other month (12/18)
32. Keep my sites updated (Facebook, Wordpress, and personal)
33. Family Vacations once per yr (1/3)
34. Monthly Pedicures and Manicures
37. Donate Blood once per quarter (3/11)
38. Spring and Fall Cleanings (3/6)
39. Donate items from those cleanings to Goodwill (3/6)
40. Use all my gift cards
43. Use cloth bags for shopping every chance I get
44. Read one book every other month (31/20)
46. Decorate Home for the Holidays/Seasons
51. Clean out fridge twice a year (3/6)
52. Clean out pantry twice a year (3/6)
53. Take photos at important events
54. Learn and keep tabs on personal and home finances
55. Monthly work performance plan updates (5/33)
56. Update resume yearly or with every job change (2/3)
64. Say a one positive thing for every one negative
92. Give Jeff and kids kisses EVERY day
94. Adhere to my anti-aging cream ritual
99. Wear something OTHER than jeans once a week (144/143)


No Longer Interested:
2. Attend said Church 2x per month (2/66)
22. [PRIVATE]
47. Event Planner courses or readings
82. [PRIVATE]
83. Spend at least once a every OTHER week on boat during warm weather (May-Sept)

101 in 1001 – One Time Event

High Motivation:
12. Landscape Front Yard
13. Landscape Back Yard
16. Remove Spider Veins
17. Update Driver’s License restrictions
26. PGMP Certification
30. Green Belt Certification
31. Repair Acura Leather
35. Participate in an Adventure Race
36. Start kids' College Fund
41. Update my phone and address excel spreadsheet
45. Appraise and insure Rings and earrings
48. Clean out jewelry box
61. Travel outside the US
62. Update MP3 player songs
66. Buy a safe
68. Sift thru mementos to either keep, sale, or donate
71. Try Snowboarding
77. Write will
81. Own a Louis Vuitton Purse
86. Actually catch some air wakeboarding
87. Bunny Hop Switch on wakeboard
88. Give Microdermabrasion a try
90. Beat 5k PR - 28:15 Completed: 7/03/10 28:09
91. Beat 5 Miler PR - 47:13
95. Get back to VEGAS!
98. Come up w/new Morning Shift Plan


Low Motivation:
9. Start Side Business (House Flipping, Event Planner, Book, Vending, Duplex/Apt)
15. Take a Spanish Language Course
27. Resize and Wear Aggie Ring
28. Attend an Aggie Bonfire
29. Attend an Austin Midnight Yell Practice
65. Organize my body & mind by buying & using a treadmill
72. Be an extra in a movie or TV show
80. Wii & Wii Fit
84. Play in Poker tourney that doesn’t include friends nor family
85. Poker moratorium for 3 mths
96. Get someone else to start a list
101. Visit Holly’s place when baby comes

101 in 1001 – Completed

1. Register for a Church Completed: 6/06/08
3. Laser hair removal Completed: 2/24/10
4. Baby #2 Completed: 2/09/09
5. Run a 10k Completed: 4/26/08
14. Take a Creative Arts Class (writing, painting, photography) Completed: 2/12/10 at Painting with a Twist
20. Register Connor for a sport when he’s able Completed: 8/12/09
21. Promotion or Job Change to do so Completed: 5/14/10
23. Find and hire a housekeeper completed: 2/8/08
24. Potty & Bed train Connor
25. Wean Connor from pacifier complete 6/1/09
42. Buy and use a PDA Completed: 6/16/08
49. Crown Molding in dining, living, and master bedroom Completed: 4/2010
50. Built in shoe storage in master closet Completed: Dec 09 as Jeff built them for me!
57. Visit a historical site Completed: 9/5/08
58. Visit a museum Completed: 9/6/08
59. Visit a zoo completed:12/24/07
60. Ride a train Completed: 10/11/09 Riding Thomas the Train & 12/20/09 riding the North Pole Flyer
63. New MP3 headphones Complete: July 09
67. Obtain concealed handgun license completed: 1/27/08
69. New pots and pans completed: 2/28/08
70. Frame Family photo completed: 11/08
73. Pay off one of our vehicles Completed: January '09
74. See a Play Completed: Disney Live 12/19/08, Dora Live 7/22/09, Wicked 8/25/09
75. Vote in the next presidential and local elections completed 10/08
76. Become CPR and First Aid Certified Completed: 4/12/08
78. Ride the Zilker Zephyr Completed: 5/28/08
79. Go on a cruise Completed: 9/14 thru 9/19
89. Get a Facial Completed: 6/4/10
93. Have 2nd Baby’s room finished BEFORE she is born Completed: 2/3/09
97. Get a massage Completed: 6/4/10
100. Visit my brother’s new condo Completed: 3/22/08

Supplemental List

102. Watch 1 Netflix Movie a week (53/143)
103. a canopy tour Completed: 11/14/09 for Amanda's 30th
104. Join the Capital City A&M Club Completed: 4/13/08
105. Attend 2 A&M Club events a year (0/6)
106. Have Jeff hang curtains
107. New bedding for Master Bedroom completed: 1/11/09
108. Kitchen Organization System
109. Be a mentor to someone
110. Do a family year end blog every yr end (1/3)
111. APICS Classes
112. Migrate Connor to new room Completed: 8/21/08
113. Update Workout to a Guest room Completed: 1/14/09
114. Office Furniture: desks, chairs, bookcases Complete: 8/09
115. Visit a Chiropractor
116. Get Moles checked out Completed: 4/29/08
117. ITIL Certification
118. Attend a circus, rodeo, or fair Completed: 8/24/08 circus
119. Create photo books once a year for great-grandparents and grandparents (2/3)
120. Update and organize personal cookbook
121. Fall &/or Holiday Festivals (0/2)
122. Renaissance Faire

The Bucket List

Things I want to do before I die
1. Ride the tallest Roller Coaster, Kingda Ka, in Jackson, NJ at Six Flags Great Adventure
2. Visit Redwood National Park to view the oldest and tallest trees in the world
3. Camp Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming to see the tallest geyser eruptions
4. Florida Everglades
5. Smithsonsian Museum in Washington, DC
6. Grand Canyon
7. Pyramids of Giza - Egypt
8. Paris, France and all it's relevant sites
9. Great Wall of China
10. Taj Mahal, India
11. Petra, Jordan
12. Greece & Italy and all their relevant sites
13. Chicchen Itza, Mexico Completed: 9/16/09
14. Statue of Liberty, Hoover Dam, Mount Rushmore, Niegra Falls, Empire State Bldg
15. Britain/England and all it's relevant sites

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